Of course my technique on myself is horrible. Obviously, there is no way for me to reach and, on top of that, my strokes started to be filled with the emotion that they were releasing. Physically: hot, cold, dizzy, jolt. A gentle trip through time. Purple neck, red on tonsils and scalenes, almost bleeding grief points.
I noticed that--even after a lot of progress--I am still pretty bad off. Way less than where I began, but still more sha than many I've worked on. I wondered what this meant. It is always my personal work to make sure I move the pain of myself and others through me---not take it on. I don't know if sha is simply the necessary residue of pain moving through, or the result of holding on. The first time I was cupped, I bled black. I felt like my neck was 500 years old. I've felt some pretty bad pain in my life, and I questioned if there is any way to go through such things without sha.
I don't think we can judge ourselves for the collection of sha that comes with experience. And as much as we have to allow ourselves the sometimes-ugly pain, we have to allow ourselves its sometimes-ugly release. I think that techniques like gua sha are for when we know that there is an other side of the pain that comes in healing. Sometimes we feel pain and-- not knowing if it is the pain of hurting or healing--begin, then turn back over and over again. Of course, one also has to be ready; you have to be careful not to scrape off a defense while it is still a needed protection. But eventually, I think we have to travel through it.
Of the difficult things I am going through right now, my pain: of course it feels endless. That is its nature. But from the past, I know there is another side. Almost a year ago, I had gua sha done on scars on my arm that, before then, I barely would touch. Their shame matched a long strand of shame and secrets that I didn't even completely know. The sha was dark dark purple. I had waves of emotions as I went on with my day, then memories, then confessions....by the early morning of the next day, I was crying it out.
. 
This time, I scraped it and it was clear.
p.s. if you didn't see it before, scroll down and watch the gua sha video (...or rate it on youtube). I notice that I am talking about the emotional release of gua sha and not many people are doing that. Gua Sha is a folk tradition--power to the people, especially to the mothers. However, videos show men doctors and stress that it is a science, based on reason, leaving emotions secondary. I think it is important to remember that the technique has an origin where emotions, organs, and the journey of an individual spirit are all different aspects of a whole.
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